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hey this is Leo for actualised org and in this video we're talking about introverts versus extroverts okay welcome back so let's talk about introverts versus extroverts what is an introvert really what is an extrovert really and how does this play into the bigger picture of your life how is this going to affect the performance of your life the kind of results you get in your life and how can you start to play with these variables because I'm not so much interested in just defining introversion and extraversion which I'm gonna do here on a much deeper level than you will get in most other places but I'm also interested in how to actually take those and start to to play with them in your life and tune them to get the best results that you can possibly get alright so in this video we're gonna talk about some definitions we're gonna go into a deep understanding of what introversion is versus extraversion we're gonna talk about some of the origins of these terms we're gonna talk about the pros and cons and then we're gonna get into some techniques for how to actually change this stuff that's really exciting alright so if you're looking forward to being more extroverted or more introverted or vice-versa then we've got you covered here so let's get into this some definitions well before I even give you some definitions let's talk about a little bit of kind of the history where did what are these terms even come from well this is something that came from an old school psychologist in the early 1900's Carl Jung he what he did is he started to create personality types and he started to create these archetypes of you know what what psyches fell into so he started looking at people and started saying what are the kind of the common strands between people and some of the archetypes that he identified are now used in the myers-briggs personality assessment type you might have taken that at work or at school in college someplace else online so that is deriving from his work and there he made the really really kind of fundamental distinction in psychology of the introvert and the extrovert so what does this mean well quite simply it you you have a good understanding of it already but we're gonna go into a deeper understanding of it so an introvert is someone who is comfortable and really enjoys being by themselves and they are in their head more than they are out in the real world so they like being in their head they like to be deep thinkers they like to be by themselves they're comfortable being alone they don't particularly enjoy being in loud noisy environments and their energy tends to drain when they're out there interacting and socializing with other people so this is what you might stereotype as the shy person although that's really not a good way to think about it it's kind of a caricature cartoon caricature and it's greatly exaggerated so what's the extrovert well the extra word is the opposite of that the extrovert is the social butterfly this is the person that loves to go out there and schmooze with people he likes to gossip he likes to talk he's verbose she is really excited by people she draws her energy from other people from the external environment and she doesn't like to be by herself and he doesn't like to be in his head all the time he prefers to be out there with people interacting with the world groping feeling looking observing being much more sensory rather than logical and analytical so that is the extrovert those are the two kind of classic definitions now as far as really understanding what this is this is a really powerful idea that I got from one of Evan pagan seminars about personality types is they really went into a deep discussion of what introversion versus extraversion is and this really hit me so hard when I when I saw this and I really understood this with my mind's eye here's how it is here's what's really really going on and when people talk about the fact that an introvert his battery gets drained when he's out and about talking with people and that his battery charges up when he's by himself and the Vice you know the opposite of that for an extrovert here's why that's happening so an introvert on the fundamental level thinks and believes that his world is in his mind he lives in a world of ideas what's real is not out there what's real is in here so what's literally going on here is that he's so absorbed in the thoughts and the analysis and the processing that he does on all the stimulation on all the all the the sensory perception that he's getting from the world that he needs to process that so for example an extrovert when he goes in and he talks to a group of people he'll just go in there and immediately right off the bat he'll have something to say he's in there he's he's got energy bam-bam-bam things are going right you ask him a question he'll just respond right off the cuff maybe he'll even say something that he didn't mean to say but he'll just backtrack and then he'll say something else and he'll just shrug it off that's kind of an extrovert goes as an introvert and this is how I am I am an introvert very much so and if your neutral you're gonna relate to this as an introvert that stretch this is very foreign right that's not how we process the world how we process the world is we go into that situation someone asks us a question and it takes us about a second or two to kind of come up with an answer to it and then respond we don't respond off-the-cuff and the reason that is is because we we are living in our own heads and our reality is here it's not out there and so if our realities in here literally what's happening is that something comes in it takes me more time and also more energy than an extrovert to process it and then give back a response and then I'm trying to see in my head whether the response that I give is gonna be authentic and accurate because again just because I give the response does not mean that the value is in the response the value is and how the response then strikes me so I will be more reflective I'll say something and I'll say hmm I wonder what he thought of that I wonder if that is that what actually meant to say see that's what's gonna go on in an intra ORS mind with an extrovert for an extrovert it's the opposite it's like what's real is out there right the real world is out there it's in the it's something that I can grow it's something that I can see it's something that I can smell and taste and hear and something I can smile add and frown out and have an emotional interaction with whereas my thoughts about it that's secondary it's not that an extrovert doesn't have thoughts sure he does it's just that it's it's that it's that a very kind of fundamental baseline level he sees as reality really being out there and the thoughts is being like a secondary layer added on top of that so for him he's gonna go out there he's going to talk sometimes for example an extrovert will say things that he didn't even mean to say and you'll you'll notice because next year it is really good at backtracking and kind of backpedaling and he'll say something and maybe he'll say something wrong he'll have a mispronunciation or whatever and he'll immediately just say oh I didn't mean to say that or oh that's not what I meant or whatever and he just kind of glosses over it and he's just something new because for an extrovert the way that it works is that literally he has to him say it himself say it before he even recognizes whether it's real or not for him so he'll just blurt it out there he's not gonna say it in his mind first the way an introvert will he'll just blurt it out and then he'll think about Neil say hmm I wonder yep that's what I meant to say or nope that's not what I meant to say and that's why an extrovert will be more verbose more talkative a lot of times I think it seemed a little bit more shallow because they just kind of throw stuff out there without thinking about it too much and that's kind of what makes them very spontaneous engaging in charismatic that is really the deep difference right it's the difference of what is real and you can actually play with this it's kind of it's kind of funny sometimes because I'm very introverted when I have this idea and I have this deep understanding in my on the forefront of my mind and I go out let's say I go out to a club or I go out to some bar or I'm just walking around into the public place with their people and I can literally kind of when I'm thinking about this I can to kind of meditate on it and I can flip myself I can do that flip where I see that I'm walking around and I'm observing people I'm doing my normal introvert thing and I'm just thinking about mmm you know that person this this is that and I'm just I can feel and then I recognize oh I'm in my mind I can flip that and I can be perceptor II in the sense that perception is like I'm taking in perception and things are very tactile for me and when I make that transition in my mind like there's like a switch that flips and all of a sudden I can say okay why don't I be an extrovert right now and I can literally start sur just taking in whatever's there taking in a stop thinking about or just like start taking it in and you start to feel like there's a very subtle but but also significant shift when you do that and it's unnatural for me to be that way but you know when I'm doing it consciously I can kind of shift shift myself and it's it's kind of freaky it's kind of cool I encourage you to try that try that if you're an introvert go next time you're out and about with people try to flip yourself and if you're an extrovert also do the opposite try to get in your head all the sudden when you're out about and just see how it feels you're start to get a real first-hand experience of the difference between between these two personality types okay so let's talk a little bit about the pros and cons of introverts and extroverts well pretty obvious some of the stuff here is that an introvert is gonna be better at introspection introverts gonna be better at analytical things logical things planning doing creative things and extruder is going to be better at socializing with people and doing things that require cooperation management leadership that kind of stuff just on a surface level you sir you know I'm painting with broad strokes this does not mean that if you're an extrovert you cannot be a really great writer or really great thinker and vice versa if you're an introvert that does not mean that you can't be a great manager or a great leader or even a great socializer you can in fact that leads me to the next point and the next point is that there's this is a big trap of of thinking between should I be an introvert should I be an extrovert or getting so caught up in who you really are like oh I'm real introvert I'm a real extrovert and that's just how I am and so getting caught up in that and thinking that you have to choose sides you don't have to choose sides in fact I think that as a full well-rounded fully self developed self actualized human being you need to have both you need to value both you need to see that both of the each one of them has its own sets of pros and it's so sense of cons and that if you are extremely introverted you are not going to have the best kind of life and if you're extremely extroverted you're also not gonna have the best kind of life you really want to be able to blend the two in a way and when you start to blend them what I notice is that not it's not the case that you start to somehow average out it's actually the case that they kind of their cumulative so what you're doing is you're taking the best of being an introvert you're taking the best of being an extrovert and you're making those your strengths and you're dropping away the cons and so now you just have the strengths not the weaknesses and you get you get conscious control over this stuff so when you need to be extroverted you can go out there and be extroverted and when you need to be introverted you go out there and you be introverted and this is important because I found that to get the kind of amazing results that I want my life for example certain success in business or certain success in relationships I've really had to work on my introversion I had to get out of it and become more extroverted I had to do that work otherwise I saw that my life was just not nearly at the potential that it could be and I can imagine the same thing for an extreme extrovert is that if they're always extroverted then they're starting a business or they're doing something like personal development even then that's gonna hurt them because they are not doing enough contemplation enough introspection and they're gonna want to move themselves here and shift towards introversion and get some of those strengths up in their repertoire right so really I challenge you to not make this an either/or choice but a both you want both you want to be a fully well-rounded human being right you don't want to be lopsided here and I think that that is really how we were intended to be that's how kind of our brains were designed is it we want to be incorporating both and you need both to really have a rich successful life okay and the last point that I want to get into is actually some practical techniques so we talked a lot about the theory what are the specific ways that you can go about starting to shift yourself because at this point you're probably saying yourself well I'm more introverted than I want to be I'm more extroverted that I want to be how do I go about making a chant transition and if you don't know whether you are introverted or extroverted then go ahead and take the myers-briggs personality assessment you could find that online you can pay some small price for it or maybe even find it for free there's all sorts of different assessments out there but the myers-briggs is really the best take that test take that assessment see where it places you as an introvert or an extrovert okay so once you do find out and you decide that you want to make some changes because you see that being too much of an introvert or too much of an extrovert has been hurting you in some part of your life then what you want to do is follow some of these techniques okay for my let's see let's start with my introverts for my introverts if you are extremely introverted and you want to become more extroverted here is a really good way to do it number one is start going to bars and clubs start getting out there and start interacting with people get into really social environments where people are free to talk actually bars and clubs are great because people are drinking there they're kind of a carefree crazy atmosphere and that's really gonna challenge you because when you go there first you're gonna feel extremely uncomfortable but then you're gonna open up you're gonna shells gonna open up you're gonna get more comfortable and that is exactly what you need to break you out of that shell to challenge you a little bit right to get you talking with people get you into smooth highly sociable environments and when you do that I would even courage you don't drink do that without drinking and see how that feels it's gonna feel really challenging and scary at first but it's also gonna be a lot of growth next is try to join some groups so some meetup groups maybe religious organizations whatever you're into Toastmasters just groups of people who are like-minded like you and who you can interact with who you can have to talk with maybe is that it's gonna be you're gonna meet once we get Starbucks you can go to meetups calm and meet all sorts of find all sorts of groups there on any kind of a hobby that you have or any kind of topic of interest start to form those and I don't mean internet groups I mean real life groups person-to-person face-to-face you're not going to build your extraversion on an internet chat forum or over Skype you're going to build extraversion in real life face-to-face conversations and the last point the third one is going to be talk more I want you to talk more stop being so quiet stop being so reserved be more assertive every situations you get literally if you are talking to the checkout clerk at Starbucks chat her up talk to her poke fun at her talk about the news talk about something that is on your mind or ask her a question if you're at the gas station do that with the gas attendant if you're at the ATM and you're going into the bank and you're talking to a live person talk to the ATM teller there if you're at work and you've got an opportunity to go to lunch with somebody go with them and actually talk with them get yourself to talk more talk more and be more in those kind of situations and try to leverage every single opportunity for talking that you have throughout your day whether it's with your kids with your spouse but especially with strangers I find that that's where your biggest gain is going to be is with strangers you do not realize how many strangers you're interacting with on a daily basis that you could be talking to more and using this to build your extraversion so start doing that okay and now for my introverts what can you do to become more introverted how can extroverts become more introverted the way that you can do this is number one I would say is with meditation start a meditation practice start practicing any kind of activity where you're unplugged from especially people you got to start to get yourself comfortable of being alone by yourself and if this feels uncomfortable for you right now don't worry about it you're gonna get used to it being alone by yourself is a really powerful advantage for your creative thinking skills for your happiness for your peace all sorts of things that I can't even go into right now so start a meditation practice 20 minutes every day at least then I would say mindfulness practice mindfulness throughout your day what does this mean mindfulness simply means that you are always aware of what you're doing that means that when you walk out your door your front door to your house you walk out and you're aware of it you notice it and then when you come back from work at night you notice yourself walking in start to notice that you don't even need to say anything to yourself you just kind of register Seco oh yeah I walked through the door oh okay I walked through the door again just register that how about every time you sit down to have a meal I want you to start to be aware of that every meal that you take from now on for the next week just be aware of it that you're sitting down now to have a meal and tell yourself oh I'm having a meal just little things like that start to be aware of yourself and especially when you get caught up emotionally for example you get angry you get frustrated you want to yell at somebody you feel really despondent for some reason during your day you're very stressed have those emotions running through you but then kind of take a step back and say okay I'm feeling very stressed right now I'm just feeling very stressed and just kind of notice yourself doing that so it's like a self-awareness a self-consciousness that you're developing that's mindfulness and then the third point is read I find that's a really good way to get into your head is to read a lot when you read especially stuff that's rich and guess you think and get your imagination going gets you full of new ideas a lot of great nonfiction books are good for that like biographies and psychology self-help books are amazing for this not all you're going to be getting valuable information and you're gonna be just releasing stress when you read you're also gonna be starting to think about things you're gonna start to contemplate naturally and that will get you more introverted alright so that's it those are the techniques you can use these are these are the definitions of introversion and extraversion erm I hope you got some good insight from this go ahead share me your comments tell me what you think how you're gonna work on your introversion extroversion and of course I'd like you to please like this and share this so that other people can can see this content and then of course sign up to actualised org and the reason that you want to sign up besides the fact that we've got some exclusive bonuses an amazing 90 minute video series chance to win free coaching every month but besides all that really why you want to sign up is because of all the content that I'm throwing out there for you every single day I'm researching new stuff a lot of times I'm releasing videos on nearly a daily or weekly basis with just powerful information ideas that can transform your life your career - your relationship to your success in any aspect of your life because what we're teaching you is something that few others out there are willing to 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